Not a good couple of months

If i have somehow misled you, dear reader into thinking that life as a single mom trying to make it in a new city and crafting out a new career is a bed of roses, I sincerely apologise. It's not. I try to keep it together as best as I know how but sometimes, life has other plans.

And when it rains? It pours. I have been seeing several people in the profession that I have chosen to focus on and they all have the same verdict : It's fine as a hobby, but don't count on making money from it. As you can tell, it's hardly encouraging hearing that from industry pioneers. Well, looks like I need to diversify and find other more profitable things to go into and soon. It is a real bummer, let me tell you. The lack of a successful career chips away at your self esteem, bit by bit. You may think that going into work day after day is mundane and boring, but try having days stretch out endlessly in front of you and knowing there's nothing in there. That's worse.

I just had a talk with boy's teacher after picking up his report card. His grades are great, but there is mention of the fact that he's naughty at school. He apparently picks on other kids and the teachers focus on him because of his grades are good (teacher's words, not mine). No doubt there's a lot that can be interpreted from there, but let's look at it this way. My son misbehaves in school. I need to stop it.

I swear, that's where the coaching comes in. Instead of telling him what I thought, I basically just asked him lots of questions and tried to understand what was going through his head. Ajahn Brahm had a talk on bringing up children and in it, he said, make your children know that they can tell you anything and not get punished. They can open up to you about everything they've done wrong and you just acknowledge that it's a mistake and you go on from there thinking of ways to fix it and prevent it the next time. I wonder how many parents can do that. Still, buddhism teachings are always there for you to aspire to, so any little bit towards that direction helps.

I am trying not to flip but to work through these issues methodically and sensibly. I will do it even if it's the last thing I do!!! (Gargamel inspired)