Shades of grey

No unfortunately this is not a post about SnM nor kinky sex. Rather, it's some thoughts on how as we grow and mature, black and white tends to morph into shades of grey.

When we were young, life was very simple. White is white and black is black. We see things in such absolutes because that was what we were taught. This is right, that is wrong. Don't question why, it just is. And being good little sheep that we were, those little nuggets were deeply ingrained in our subconsious. That simplifies life, makes things clear and everyone is happy. People can rely on their internal compass for "the right decision" and trust that they are doing the correct thing.

What happens then? When does the shift take place? Most of the time, when disaster strikes, we find ourselves examining our core values. We ask ourselves, we have done everything by the book. Why then, does catastrophe still strike? After one too many of such unexpected disasters, we either get jaded with life and reexamine our values, or we learn to accept the greyness of the world.

And as we mature, things lose their absoluteness. We learn to see the other perspective of the world. For example, when I was very young, I had arrogantly said that I would never be with someone who cheated on me! ... Fast forward to the first time I truly madly and deeply fell in love. Yes, I discovered he cheated on me, and we stayed together for another year after that. We didn't end up together, but I had managed to look past that and focussed on other things in order to maintain that relationship. Do i regret that? No. It was still a beautiful relationship we had despite all that, and I am appreciative I had that.

Good, bad, who knows? Is a saying of one of my favourite monks, Ajahn Brahm.  He tells a story of how this person that missed his flight was berating his taxi driver for being stupid, useless etc etc when he saw the plane burst into flames in front of his eyes. Yes, the flight he was supposed to be on at that very moment had the taxi driver not lost his way and made him late. Suddenly, it was "oh thank you very much, you're the best taxi driver ever! You've saved my life!!"