Buddhism and the single mother

I've always been a buddhist, growing up in a typical taoist chinese malaysian family. Being the inquisitive person I was, I kept  asking about the meanings of certain rituals and rites performed  throughout the year as well as important life events. I was never satisfied with the answer I was given, thus I pretty much didn't think too much about it until I got into university and being exposed to critical thinking and reasoning, I started reading up on buddhism.

The paradoxical themes of the religion confused me and I left it at that. I started getting to know the religion again this year after my move to this city. I found a little temple that placed emphasis on meditation, talks, self cultivation and decided to throw myself into it. I've never looked back since.

I can now say it is a way of my life. I listen to buddhism talks almost daily and inevitably, it never fails to calm me and add space to the crowded thoughts in my head. I've seen my road rage reduced to a very occasional swearing. I don't even flip the bird at others anymore. It's mainly learning to let go. It has helped me tremendously.

Being in the situation I am in at the moment, a single mom, with enough dysfunctional family problems would have and should have driven many a normal person up the wall. I believe I am handling it very well, interspersed with minimal periods of depression and I believe it's because of my exposure to buddhism that has made this difference.

Buddhism teaches you that you don't need to be angry at circumstances. Let it go. Be it a great love, a horrible marriage, dysfunctional parents, siblings good and bad, there are all here to teach us a lesson. Live it the best we can, and then let go.

We are each responsible for our own happiness and frame of mind. Other people to a certain extend will influence it, but how much and how deep are the factors we have the keys to. I think I can say that I've found my inner peace in the 8 months I've been in here. It has affected almost everything that I say and do nowadays. I find it so much easier and lighter to just me. When you don't have to blame others, or yourself, life becomes much enjoyable. Once we are happier, we can then lend a hand to helping others. I look at it as an upward spiral. It only gets better.