Sadness

As I am writing this, scores of people in a certain part of America are trying to come to terms with the senseless violence that have rocked their world. I heard the news in the morning, and proceeded to intensify my sadness by watching a movie entitled "We have to talk about Kevin". This movie is based on a story book by Lionel Shriver about a mom trying to come to terms with her son becoming a serial killer.

Not the best choice of movies I know, but since I enjoyed the book immensely, I thought I'd give the movie a try. What can I say, I'm still depressed now. I have not been able to shake it off since this afternoon so let's sit with it for a while and explore sadness.

Why do we become sad? Sadness is but one feeling amongst a score of others like exhilaration, guilt, boredom and stress. What causes sadness and how do we deal with it? What steps when taken, will eradicate sadness from our lives?

Sadness can come from unrealistic expectations. That leads to unfulfilled dreams and after much futile efforts and wasted energy expanded on trying to accomplish the goal, we humans become disappointed and sad.

Sadness can also come from broken relationships, dysfunctional families and as seen in the movie I saw today, failed parenting. Oh, trust me, the movie was dark. I recommend it to everyone who intends to be a parent. Might be more effective than certain contraceptives.

So from the couple of causes that I have outlined, what then do we do about it? If the cause is unrealistic expectations, adjust your expectations. Go for small wins and break your goals down to biteable parts. That should help fend some of that off. If sadness comes from broken relationships and dysfunctional families, then what? Spend some time understanding and exploring it. Stay on your own for a while. Learn to love yourself first before expanding and offering that to anyone else. That applies to both partners and families.

And finally, accept that sadness, like its brothers the other feelings is just that. It is a feeling and we will come across it every now and then. Sit with it, acknowledge its presence and be with it until it is ready to pass. For with everything else, all other feelings both good and bad, this too, shall pass.