Alpha vs beta moms

Ever since Amy Chua came out with her book, Battle hymn of the tiger mother, there has been an emergence of press coverage on the practise. Self professed tiger moms came out and proudly proclaimed on magazines and newspapers on how they insist on regimented routines to push darling Watson or Marylynn onto the fast track route of life success.

That is what alpha parenting is all about. Hothousing your offspring to ensure success in life. Ensuring your child gets into the best schools, have the best tutors, take the extra curricular activities aimed to increase chances at a scholarship or entrance at the best schools or universities. Alpha parents look at their children as an extension of themselves. Other times, it could mean that parenting is my job, therefore the success of my kids means I am doing well in my job. 

What then does a successful offspring mean to you? A 6 figure paycheck? An ever increasingly important role at work? Press coverage? What else? All your hopes and aims affect your children. Check with any psychiatrist and mental health publications or at the very least, discipline masters in schools. Children nowadays are more stressed and are ill equipped to handle it. Disrespect, angst and depression if left unchecked have serious consequences and will only have a downward spiralling effect. On the other end of the scale, there are parents too busy earning money to buy the latest toy or to fund this year's vacation to actually parent. By being so busy and nary having time to be a family, what does this mean for the future generation? 

Previously, tiger parenting can practically be equated to Asian parenting. If you were Asian, you expect that from your parents. Academic success was a must have for them to bandy around with relatives and friends. Piano playing skills were de rigueur and additional languages and skills were a bonus. Parenting wasn't something that was prioritized during those times. Most parents were busy making money and we were pretty much left to our own devices.  But to be fair, life was relatively uncomplicated then compared to present day.

Fast forward to today where the information and opinion avalanche begins as soon as you confirm your pregnancy. Never has there been as much books, articles and opinions bandied about as to the best way to parent. From prenatal education to the multivitamins you had to swallow, everything was angled to give your bub the best chances at this world. 

I am not an alpha mom.

There are certain things I expect from my child. Once those are fulfilled, I'm good. Childhood is a time for them to enjoy themselves, be bored and invent games for themselves to play. I bring boy for extra tuition for certain subjects I refuse to teach. He is actually very independent in his studies, I must say. Once his grades are up to mark, I pretty much let him be. We allow ipad and tv time on weekends. Weekdays are filled with reading, drawing and writing. I love travelling as an education. I have been travelling with my boy since he was 4 months old. Exposing him to other places, cultures and food works to produce a well rounded person. 

My friends and I have varying opinions as to what constitutes the best practise. I firmly believe that parenting is very personal and you just need to find out what works for you. I have friends who believe in enrolling their child in every available class because he or she needs that push. There are also those that expect their hired help to be the parent when they are out working. Fine, that's great if that works for you and your child. I personally believe in being a beta mom. It removes the pressure  and you can enjoy the process of parenting.